Successfully Adulting or Not

Adulting v. to do the things an adult is expected to do. This includes holding a job, taking care of the bills, maybe starting a family, going for your dreams, etc. It used to be called growing up. But really, it’s all about getting your life together.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll soon find that it’s not the easiest thing to do. So often have I wished for a ‘Skip Adulting for Today’ button. If I have one though, I doubt it’s still working because I may have broken it by now.

What Helps Me Through Adulting

So much has been said about adulting. But I still find myself looking for an adultier adult, because it can get seriously frustrating sometimes. The following may sound preachy, but what isn’t? So far, they’re pulling me through:

Patience

Man, do I need to be reminded of this time and again. I used to be a firm believer that now is as good as any time. But I learned that knowing the “right time” is also a form of intelligence.

If you’ll be able to wait willingly and hold out with a good attitude, the outcome may surprise you. This doesn’t just apply to timing. It’s also about interacting with people. Like, how you learn to respond with grace even though you’re this close to hitting, punching or stabbing someone.

Or when you’re so excited to get approval from the boss, but the boss isn’t in the best mood to listen. It can also be about enduring the leg work now for all the wisdom and experiences that it will give you further down your career. Patience, my dear, is inevitably tied to delayed gratification. And in most times, you’ll realize that the end gratifies greatly, indeed.

Discipline

Or doing the right thing, at the right way, all the time. It’s about doing the thing that needs to be done, even if you don’t want to do it. Going to work on Mondays is a perfect example.

In some cultures, discipline means creating an order within you. It helps you put first things first and avoid making excuses. That’s why to me, discipline means honoring your commitments, your deadlines, your promises. It’s the ultimate test on following-through.

Determination

The kind that answers the questions: How badly do you want something? How much are you willing to pay (sacrifice) for it? These questions also test the quality of your decision-making. How firm you are in your decision affects how determined you are to accomplish it. I’m far from mastering this determination thing. Because I usually change my mind about everything. As we all know, motivation doesn’t last. But determination helps you persists.

Gratitude

…for everything because being alive is enough reason to feel blessed. There are bad circumstances, sure. But these downsides help us appreciate this one life that we’re given. Failure teaches you lessons. Success teaches you humility. ‘You live, you learn’ as the song goes.

Final Thought:

Nobody can escape this period and it will make up most of our lives. Granted, adulting can really be scary and tough, but hey, I’m with you, we’re still here. We’re going to be okay. Afterall, all of us is still a work in progress.

As always, thanks for dropping by!

Positive Affirmation and the Power of Words

If you’re a fan of self-help books and personal development, you may be familiar with positive affirmation.

Positive affirmation is a statement that confirms something to be true. Repeating a positive word or phrase is a proven psychological self-help process especially for changing, adding or removing specific behaviors and habits¹. Jack Canfield, a success coach, even outlined nine (9) guidelines on how to create effective affirmations on his book, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. Other experts, like motivational author ²Louise Hay, actually has an audio-book that features positive affirmations.

BENEFITS OF POSITIVE AFFIRMATION

Various experts and studies support the effectiveness of adapting this concept in our daily lives. One website ³ cites the following benefits of positive affirmation:

Strengthens muscles.
Increase physical and emotional energy levels.
Brings to life a person’s capabilities, strengths, talents and skills.
Penetrates a person’s subconscious, thus affecting one’s actions, behaviors and attitude.

A simple search of this term on the internet would give you hundreds and hundreds of stories of people who show affirmations really work. Of course, take everything with a pinch of salt. Positive affirmation should not be the be-all-and-end-all of your self-improvement journey. This should just form part of your action plan to achieving your goal of personal growth and success.

PERSONAL AFFIRMATIONS

I really believe that words have power on their own. This is why we should be very careful on what we say to ourselves and to others. Words, when said often enough, inspires belief which then may turn into action and reality.

The following are some of my personal affirmations. You may also create affirmations that are specific to your job or relationships. Hope you may find these useful:

As always, thanks for dropping by!

Useful Links:

¹Definition

²Louise Hay’s Free Audio Book

³Benefits of the Concept

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4 Ways to Regain Your Motivation When You Have None

Motivation is a tricky thing.

We all wish we’re always at 100% – that our energies would never waver or the flames of our passions never dull. But we’re fragile, fallible human beings. There would always be times when we feel down, when our motivation seems to reach a state of hibernation. This situation is perfectly normal and okay. But what’s not okay is to be content in staying low inside that depressing hole.

Whenever everything feels like draining or overwhelming, I’d do one of the activities below to regain my motivation. These are not hard and fast rules and you may find that some doesn’t apply to you. But you can definitely give them a try:

4 WAYS TO REGAIN MOTIVATION

1. Go back to your “Whys”.

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters

It’s so easy to get lost when you’re so into something. So try and go back to the basics. Dig out that list you created when you first started. On each line, you’re sure to see or remember why you’d committed to doing them in the first place.

Being reminded of the reasons that you’re doing something re-frames the situation and may get you back on track. It may also help you make sense of what’s been happening. It can also help you identify the next step you have to take. And sooner, rather than later, you’ll find that drive to go on.

2. Think about the opportunities.

Photo by Aziz Acharki

There are times when fear gets the better of us that it dampens our motivation. But this only happens when we’re so focus on the burdens instead of the benefits, of the opportunities. If we’re able to re-channel our focus and anticipate the good things that may come, we can regain the excitement that we’ve lost. This excitement may just topple fear and will allow us to regain the strength to take the next best step forward.

3. Get help from your support group.

Photo by Ben White

Sure, we’d like to think that we can take care of our own issues, but reaching out to our support group can never hurt. If nothing else, they can be our greatest source of external motivation. Your support group may include your family, friends or colleagues. They can be the concrete parts of our “whys” or they can be the models we strive hard to become one day. Their love and support may just be the forces that we need to get our drive back.

4. Give yourself a break.

Photo by kosal ley

It may be for a short while or long vacation. But let there be a healthy space between you and your goals. You need time so you can replenish your energy and your inspiration. Taking a step back allows you to see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve accomplished. This also gives you time to strategize. Indulge in a fun activity or go to that place you’ve wanted to go for the longest time. Read a book. Meditate. Pray. Play can also be beneficial. Let that inner kid roam free.

How about you, how do you take your motivation back? Tell us about them on the comments section below.

As always, thanks for dropping by.

Featured Photo by Braden Collum

Insights on the Four Consumer Generations: A Marketer’s Guide

Businesses know that they can’t be everything to everyone. Focus is key if you want your product/service to remain competitive and relevant. That’s why you should get as close as possible to the market you’d like to serve. Insights on your target market’s behavior and preferences are very important in formulating your marketing or business strategy.

Consumer insights allow you to identify which segment of the market needed your product the most and thus, the more profitable to serve. They also help you create effective and relevant communication materials. This information will ultimately guide your decision on selecting the most efficient channels to deliver your messages and products from.

The following information is an excerpt based on a Yes Lifecycle Marketing survey of more than 1,000 consumers who have received a marketing email in the past year. The company wants the report to serve as a guidebook for marketers looking to reach and engage shoppers from each generation.

INSIGHTS ON THE FOUR CONSUMER GENERATIONS

As always, thanks for dropping by.

Useful Links:

Download the free white paper from Yes! Lifecycle Marketing.

Photo Credits:

Centennials: Photo by Alexis Brown

Millennials: Photo by rawpixel.com

Generation X: Photo from Unsplash

Baby Boomer: Photo by Thomas Hafeneth

Infographic Template by Canva

4 Reminders for a Successful Career Change

I’ve recently had a career change. I moved to Operations from being in Admin for about three years. It’s not so far off from my previous position, though instead of calculating growth and creating plans to increase market share, I went to giving out solutions on how customers can take better care of their credit cards accounts. (I never thought I’d be debt collector, ever! I personally hate debts!)

Anyway, I made all the considerations before I applied for my current job – the working hours, industry culture, some pay cuts. But I know, I’m not the only career shifter who’s having the occasional blues. Sometimes, I really miss working late into the night, the nonstop follow-ups, as well as going around town to make sure that people know about my brand. I just really miss the ‘going-out’ part the most. I find the walls of my current office suffocating sometimes and I really like to get away. Then I’ll remind myself of the reasons I’m right here.

So, for those who have recently change careers, I hope the following reminders would be helpful to you. Whenever I feel the urge to leave or become sad or miss the life I left behind, these are what I think about:

1. The “Why” of the Career Change.

We’ll all have our reasons. Reasons we deemed valid and important and urgent. We wouldn’t take all the risks and accept trade-offs if our reason is not worth betting on. You must always go back to that. And remember that changing careers is like starting over, drawing square one. And I’m sure even before you went to that first job interview, you’re mind’s made up. This is what you wanted to do. Be thankful now that you got it. Live it. Focus on the opportunities. Remember, it’s your win because you get to start over. Some people never even had their chance.

2. The 3 A’s – Adjust Aptitude and Attitude.

You’ve had work experience, learning curve is not some strange, new concept for you. You know you got to adjust, it’s either you’ve got to shave off or gain an edge so you can follow on this new track. You have to gain skills, and that means learning, which also means it’d take time and patience and effort and love. You got to develop genuine love for what you’re doing. It’s the only way, it’s the only way you can succeed. That would depend much on the attitude that you’ll bring into the job. Keep the enthusiasm, keep being interested. Learn. Never stop. Reach out. Ask. But remember to do your own research, too. There’s just too much that people can teach you.

3. Reach Goals.

Of course, you’ve got to measure up. Determine what you’re aiming for. Break them down so you can work on them on a weekly, monthly, and quarterly basis. Challenging yourself to surpass the minimum requirement of the passing scores will keep you motivated. Also, you may look at it as an indication of how flexible your skills are.

4. New Connections.

Your new environment gives you the opportunity to connect with new sets of people – different backgrounds, expertise and culture, even. And being around these people can be really exciting, though intimidating some of the time. But it’s going to bring you new experiences and joy. It’s going to expand your relationships and it opens possibilities for friendships, mentor-ship and inspirations. People can really be awesome. And if you just wait long enough, they’d surprise you.

You may also have your own set of reminders for a successful career change. We’d like to hear them. Please free to leave a comment below.

As always, thanks for dropping by.

How Successful People Win Against the Hardest Things in Life

Challenges are the ultimate test of character. Winning over them is like winning at life. While some struggle, others seem to have them figured out. Here are four of the many challenges in life and the steps that successful people take to win over them:

Change

Change is something that you just have to accept. It’s especially overwhelming when you’re not the one who initiated it. But successful people seem to breeze through changes. They’re the ones who can look back and say that change had been for the better, for the most part. This attitude or perspective makes them more receptive to change. It makes them actually excited about it.

Reflect on the following questions. These will help you break down your thoughts and let you come up with specific action plan to embrace change:

What’s changing in my life that I’m currently resisting?
Why am I resisting that change?
What am I afraid of with respect to change?
What am I afraid might happen to me?
What’s the payoff for my keeping things the way they are?
What’s the cost I’m paying for keeping the things the way they are?
What benefits might there be in this change?
What would I have to do to cooperate with this change?
What’s the next step I could take to cooperate with this change?
When will I take it?

Risks

To the uninformed, risk accompanies danger and loss. But to those who know how to play the game, risk results to gains. The higher the risk, the higher the return.

The thing is you need to be critical on the kind of risk to take. Learn to take calculated risks. These risks are taken after careful consideration of the advantages and disadvantages. Information, therefore, is essential. Of course, nobody has all the answers. So, this also requires a leap of faith.

Know that not every risk is worth it so be very clear on why you’re taking it. Evaluate your current situation – who you are, what you have, what’s out there, who can help you. Be brutally honest on your willingness to pay the price and for how long you can hold out. Be prepared to make adjustments. Play to win.

Denial

Often, denial results from fear. You’re scared to face the truth. You refuse to accept that you made the wrong choice, or your partner’s cheating on you or one person is capable of doing such a thing. Successful people work to find out the causes of these situations, instead of coming up with excuses on why they happen. You got to be good at recognizing bad situations and then decide to take action. Often, our conscience or gut-feel gives us a hint that something’s wrong. It may be good to see if this feeling has basis.

Your answer to these questions may help you get out of denial:

What’s not working?
What caused this situation? Or how did I/we get into this situation?
What do I/we need to solve or get out of this situation?
What actions do I/we need to take for the situation to work the way it’s supposed to?

Hate and Forgiveness

To let go of hate and resentment is never easy. These negative feelings take so much of your energy. But forgiveness takes even more than that.

You need to have the strength to be the bigger person. Make love the deeper, stronger feeling every time. Try to stand in the shoes of those who hurt you and walk around in them so you understand where they’re coming from. Because to forgive is to give up the negative feeling for yourself – never for whoever or whatever that’s hurt you.

The following steps are all integral to forgiving:

Acknowledge your anger and resentment.
Acknowledge the hurt and pain it created.
Recognize the fears and self-doubts that it created.
Own any part you may have played in letting it occur or letting it continue.
Acknowledge what you were wanting that you didn’t get, and then put yourself in the other person’s shoes and attempt to understand where he or she was coming from at that time, and what needs the person was trying to meet – however inelegantly – by his or her behavior.
Let go and forgive the person.

I used Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles as reference for this post. The book aims to help you achieve your goal in whatever aspect of your life. It features real-life situations and inspiring stories to demonstrate each principle. They’re very easy to relate to and understand. For more success tips, do check it out on National Bookstore, Amazon or ebay.

How about you, what challenges are you facing right now and how do you go around them?

As always, thanks for dropping by!

Interventions for Toxic People at Work – Yes Boss, This is About You, Too

Toxic people are the unnecessary crazies at work. Spending even a minute with them zap your energy. Hearing them talk rile up feelings that are mostly negative. For them, everything is big deal. There’s not an office hour when you can skip their drama. In extreme cases when they tend to be hurtful, they make you feel like your existence is the smallest, most insignificant of all. You don’t want to do anything or be around with them but they’re part of your team.

Posts on how to deal with toxic people at work just abounds. You can at least find a dozen ways on how to handle these people. Most of them are all about protecting yourself. They go on about establishing a limit or making yourself less vulnerable. It’s like: Never reach out to toxic people at work, period.

Quote on Toxic People — Or is it? Taking it from a team leader or a concerned team member’s perspective, how’d you go about helping a toxic team member to change?

I tried a quick search on how you can help a team member change their toxic behavior. I’ve encountered some self-confessed toxic people and how they eventually changed. According to them, it’s all about self-awareness – recognizing the signs that you’re becoming a toxic person and initiating changes that mostly include therapy and restraint. (Whoa, therapy sounds so serious!) I’d like to think that they are what Randy Pausch would call recovering jerks in his book, “The Last Lecture”.

Workplace Interventions for Toxic People

This info-graphic from GetVOIP might be a good springboard on the interventions that the management can do to change toxic employee’s behavior. It may be applicable for both subordinates and managers:

5 Types of Toxic Employees and How to Deal with Them [Infographic]

Interventions for Toxic People Using Emotional Intelligence Approach

If you want a lengthy study on toxic managers, this article by Roy Lubit may be really insightful. The article aims to help senior management identify toxic managers so they can distinguish those who can still be coached and therefore, retain, and those who they need to let go. He argues that to effectively deal with toxic people, you need to understand where they’re coming from. Uncovering their objectives will help you design interventions accordingly. He emphasizes the importance of developing emotional intelligence so it can help you reign in your feelings and behaviors, rather than letting the feelings run away with you.

In his article, there are four types of toxic managers:

Narcissistic
Aggressive
Rigid
Impaired

Each type comes in several varieties. The author put each in a table so personal traits and objectives can easily be identified. He also put in recommendations on how to deal with each type, both for when you’re a subordinate or a superior.

I may not always agree on the recommendations, especially the ones for subordinates. Most of it seemed to lean on downplaying performance or avoiding provocation. But to senior management, it can be a good springboard on how to reach out to once well-performing managers who devolved into being a toxic boss.

If you can share any tips on how to reach out to a colleague or a boss who’s become toxic, put them in the comment below.

As always, thanks for dropping by!

How do you boost online sales across multiple e-commerce channels?

Sharing this cool infographic by Channel Advisor on how to manage your multiple e-commerce channels. The information was gathered from 400 Australian online retailers to identify their strategies to boost their online sales!

Channel Advisor is an e-commerce software company that helps online retailers be seen and sell more online. You can subscribe to their updates and newsletters to get the latest e-commerce news, trends and resources.

How to Practice Gratitude that Unlocks Your Happiness

I believe gratitude and happiness are inseparable.

Gratitude is thankfulness, the acknowledgment of the positive things and great opportunities that you have and expect in your life. And happiness, arguably, is that wonderful, warm sensation in your heart that lets you know something you wanted or planned for is finally happening.

And so, if you can acknowledge even the littlest of things that you’re thankful for, you can’t help but be happy.

Sounds simple, right? But most people remain unhappy.

Be thankful for the little things.

Often, you tend to overlook the little things in life that can bring you happiness. These are trivial, sometimes mundane events or things that you don’t even consider. But when you start to be conscious about all the things around you, you may discover a lot of things that you can make you happy, or at the least, smile.

List all the things that you’re thankful for. You might be surprised how your happiness is consists of small, every day things that you usually take for granted.

Think of your favorite weather, the smile you received from a stranger, or that kind guy who offered you a seat on the ride home. These simple, usual events are your simple blessings each day. And if only you acknowledge these as such, then you might just realize that life is easier, more bearable because you get these little miracles every day.

Be thankful for the big things.

Of course, bigger blessings are hard to ignore, especially the ones that you really worked hard for. But still, most people forget to give thanks. They feel entitled. They think that because they worked for it, they only deserve it. It’s all on them.

And maybe this is one reason why most achievers lead an abundant, but unhappy life. They forget about gratitude.

Gratitude begets happiness. — Gratitude unlocks happiness. Never forget to be grateful.Photo Credit: symphony of love via photopin cc

You shouldn’t forget that great things can’t be achieved alone. You may have been the leader or the main man for a really successful project or business venture, but you could have never been at the top without the people who helped you, supported you and prayed for you.

I believe in hard work, in discipline and focus. But I don’t believe that you can get to where you want on your own. There will always be people who you’ll need to ask help from or those who will offer you their help. And for that, you must be thankful.

Acknowledge the hardships for they made you stronger. Recognize your team because they supported and strengthen you. Thank the universe because it conspired to make you successful.

Be grateful for the success of others.

We’re echoes of each other. And the more we support other people to achieve what they want, the more that we make ourselves capable of achieving our own goals and dreams.

Be happy for others. — Be grateful for the success of others. Photo Credit: tedeytan via photopin cc

Instead of being envious or holding grudges or blaming fate, it maybe better to say our thanks that our brothers or sisters finally achieved their dreams. Tell the Universe, or your God or whatever deity you hold the highest respect for, that you’re ready to receive yours.

Practice gratitude. Achieve happiness.

Featured Photo Credit: MTSOfan via photopin cc

What to Do After You Made a Mistake?

From a beginner’s point of view, mistakes are necessary evil for development and growth. It is usually by mistake that you learn what really needs to be done and what’s the smartest way of doing it. Mistakes are learning opportunities in disguise and how you deal with it can either make or break you.

Here are some tips on dealing with mistakes from Schragis and Frishman’s 10 Clowns Don’t Make a Circus. I also added some of my own thoughts:

1. When you did a mistake, find the time to calm down, cool off and think it over.

What exactly went wrong? — Photo Credit: Drift Words via photopin cc

In real life, this may not be easy to do. You got your deadline coming up and you’re left with so little time to correct your mistake or lessen it’s negative consequences. But always remember to take a breather and find time to clear your head. Go out of the office or have a water or coffee break. Use this time to think things over. Admit that you made a mistake, own up to it and then try to come up with solutions. Before you go back to your work, make sure you know exactly where the error lies. Ask yourself the following questions:

What exactly did I do wrong?
Is there anything that I could have done to prevent this mistake? If yes, then what is it?
If there’s no way of seeing this mistake coming, what should I do to prevent this from happening again?

2. Ask your boss or coworkers for feedback. As Schragis and Frishman said, “Make it clear that you’re open to constructive criticism.”

Listen. Be open to feedback. — Photo Credit: highersights via photopin cc

It’s not only the quality of our outputs that matters, it’s also about how you work. Whether you work alone or with a team, how you interact and take criticisms say much about you as a professional. Getting feedback from your superiors can really be helpful. You can ask:

What are the things that I need to improve on?
What do you suggest I do to avoid the same mistake?

3. Don’t be sorry. Be better.

Try one more time. — Photo Credit: Celestine Chua via photopin cc

Owning up to your mistake is one thing, but moving on from that sad place is another. It’s okay to feel a little sorry but you got to remember that this mistake is trying to teach you something so that you can be better. Whenever you’re struck down, come back stronger, smarter than before. Never apologize for something that you can’t possibly know and be thankful for the opportunity to learn.

What's biggest mistake ever? — Photo Credit: steffy. via photopin cc

Remember that mistakes can be a great source of experience and wisdom. But too much of the same mistake says much about your ability to learn. Learn from your old mistakes and keep them from happening again. Go out there and do your thing, but see to it that you make a different mistake next time.

How about you, how do you deal with your mistakes? Please tell us about it on the comments below. Thanks for reading!

Featured Photo Credit: Behrooz Nobakht via photopin cc