If you’re a fan of self-help books and personal development, you may be familiar with positive affirmation.
Positive affirmation is a statement that confirms something to be true. Repeating a positive word or phrase is a proven psychological self-help process especially for changing, adding or removing specific behaviors and habits¹. Jack Canfield, a success coach, even outlined nine (9) guidelines on how to create effective affirmations on his book, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. Other experts, like motivational author ²Louise Hay, actually has an audio-book that features positive affirmations.
BENEFITS OF POSITIVE AFFIRMATION
Various experts and studies support the effectiveness of adapting this concept in our daily lives. One website ³cites the following benefits of positive affirmation:
Strengthens muscles.
Increase physical and emotional energy levels.
Brings to life a person’s capabilities, strengths, talents and skills.
Penetrates a person’s subconscious, thus affecting one’s actions, behaviors and attitude.
A simple search of this term on the internet would give you hundreds and hundreds of stories of people who show affirmations really work. Of course, take everything with a pinch of salt. Positive affirmation should not be the be-all-and-end-all of your self-improvement journey. This should just form part of your action plan to achieving your goal of personal growth and success.
PERSONAL AFFIRMATIONS
I really believe that words have power on their own. This is why we should be very careful on what we say to ourselves and to others. Words, when said often enough, inspires belief which then may turn into action and reality.
The following are some of my personal affirmations. You may also create affirmations that are specific to your job or relationships. Hope you may find these useful:
If you’re familiar with John Maxwell’s The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, then you must know about the first law: The Law of Significance. It states that one is too small a number to achieve greatness, thus the importance of forming a team. And how effective this team on achieving the goal depends on the quality of their teamwork and manifesting the other 16 laws.
But what is a team?
In simple words, a team is consists of people who work together to achieve a specific goal. And relationships between people are strengthened and made even more special when they start to work as a team.
Whenever we hear stories of individuals who’ve achieved so much, we’re always fascinated on how they seemingly overcame all the challenges by themselves. But Maxwell proved that notion is wrong. There’s no such thing as self-made man. The Lone Ranger is a myth. And as a Chinese proverb states, “Behind an able man there are always other able men.”
Maxwell also cited some of the reasons some people prefer to work on their goals alone. Factors such as ego, insecurity, naiveté and temperament hinder us from working well with others. But if we’re willing to give ourselves and others the chance, we’ll soon find out that we’re only capable of achieving something of any significance when we start to reach out and ask for help.
The following are the six (6) ways on which we can always benefit from creating a team. These are based from C. Gene Wilkes’ work, Jesus on Leadership:
Teams involve more people, thus affording more resources, ideas and energy than would an individual.
Teams maximize a leader’s potential and minimize their weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses are more exposed in individuals.
Teams provide multiple perspective on how to meet a need or reach a goal, thus devising several alternatives for each situation. Individual insight is seldom as broad and deep as a group’s when it takes on a problem.
Teams share the credit for victories and the blame for losses. This fosters genuine humility and authentic community. Individuals take credit and blame alone. This fosters pride and sometimes a sense of failure.
Teams keep leaders accountable for the goal. Individuals connected to no one can change the goal without accountability.
Teams can simply do more than an individual.
Understanding the significance of working with others is fundamental on achieving success. The rest of the Indisputable Laws of Teamwork would help a leader make the team more efficient and effective in achieving the goal. You may check out the book at Amazon.com.
You may also share this article as an infographic:
We all wish we’re always at 100% – that our energies would never waver or the flames of our passions never dull. But we’re fragile, fallible human beings. There would always be times when we feel down, when our motivation seems to reach a state of hibernation. This situation is perfectly normal and okay. But what’s not okay is to be content in staying low inside that depressing hole.
Whenever everything feels like draining or overwhelming, I’d do one of the activities below to regain my motivation. These are not hard and fast rules and you may find that some doesn’t apply to you. But you can definitely give them a try:
It’s so easy to get lost when you’re so into something. So try and go back to the basics. Dig out that list you created when you first started. On each line, you’re sure to see or remember why you’d committed to doing them in the first place.
Being reminded of the reasons that you’re doing something re-frames the situation and may get you back on track. It may also help you make sense of what’s been happening. It can also help you identify the next step you have to take. And sooner, rather than later, you’ll find that drive to go on.
There are times when fear gets the better of us that it dampens our motivation. But this only happens when we’re so focus on the burdens instead of the benefits, of the opportunities. If we’re able to re-channel our focus and anticipate the good things that may come, we can regain the excitement that we’ve lost. This excitement may just topple fear and will allow us to regain the strength to take the next best step forward.
Sure, we’d like to think that we can take care of our own issues, but reaching out to our support group can never hurt. If nothing else, they can be our greatest source of external motivation. Your support group may include your family, friends or colleagues. They can be the concrete parts of our “whys” or they can be the models we strive hard to become one day. Their love and support may just be the forces that we need to get our drive back.
It may be for a short while or long vacation. But let there be a healthy space between you and your goals. You need time so you can replenish your energy and your inspiration. Taking a step back allows you to see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve accomplished. This also gives you time to strategize. Indulge in a fun activity or go to that place you’ve wanted to go for the longest time. Read a book. Meditate. Pray. Play can also be beneficial. Let that inner kid roam free.
How about you, how do you take your motivation back? Tell us about them on the comments section below.
I’ve recently had a career change. I moved to Operations from being in Admin for about three years. It’s not so far off from my previous position, though instead of calculating growth and creating plans to increase market share, I went to giving out solutions on how customers can take better care of their credit cards accounts. (I never thought I’d be debt collector, ever! I personally hate debts!)
Anyway, I made all the considerations before I applied for my current job – the working hours, industry culture, some pay cuts. But I know, I’m not the only career shifter who’s having the occasional blues. Sometimes, I really miss working late into the night, the nonstop follow-ups, as well as going around town to make sure that people know about my brand. I just really miss the ‘going-out’ part the most. I find the walls of my current office suffocating sometimes and I really like to get away. Then I’ll remind myself of the reasons I’m right here.
So, for those who have recently change careers, I hope the following reminders would be helpful to you. Whenever I feel the urge to leave or become sad or miss the life I left behind, these are what I think about:
1. The “Why” of the Career Change.
We’ll all have our reasons. Reasons we deemed valid and important and urgent. We wouldn’t take all the risks and accept trade-offs if our reason is not worth betting on. You must always go back to that. And remember that changing careers is like starting over, drawing square one. And I’m sure even before you went to that first job interview, you’re mind’s made up. This is what you wanted to do. Be thankful now that you got it. Live it. Focus on the opportunities. Remember, it’s your win because you get to start over. Some people never even had their chance.
2. The 3 A’s – Adjust Aptitude and Attitude.
You’ve had work experience, learning curve is not some strange, new concept for you. You know you got to adjust, it’s either you’ve got to shave off or gain an edge so you can follow on this new track. You have to gain skills, and that means learning, which also means it’d take time and patience and effort and love. You got to develop genuine love for what you’re doing. It’s the only way, it’s the only way you can succeed. That would depend much on the attitude that you’ll bring into the job. Keep the enthusiasm, keep being interested. Learn. Never stop. Reach out. Ask. But remember to do your own research, too. There’s just too much that people can teach you.
3. Reach Goals.
Of course, you’ve got to measure up. Determine what you’re aiming for. Break them down so you can work on them on a weekly, monthly, and quarterly basis. Challenging yourself to surpass the minimum requirement of the passing scores will keep you motivated. Also, you may look at it as an indication of how flexible your skills are.
Focus on building the new.
4. New Connections.
Your new environment gives you the opportunity to connect with new sets of people – different backgrounds, expertise and culture, even. And being around these people can be really exciting, though intimidating some of the time. But it’s going to bring you new experiences and joy. It’s going to expand your relationships and it opens possibilities for friendships, mentor-ship and inspirations. People can really be awesome. And if you just wait long enough, they’d surprise you.
You may also have your own set of reminders for a successful career change. We’d like to hear them. Please free to leave a comment below.
Toxic people are the unnecessary crazies at work. Spending even a minute with them zap your energy. Hearing them talk rile up feelings that are mostly negative. For them, everything is big deal. There’s not an office hour when you can skip their drama. In extreme cases when they tend to be hurtful, they make you feel like your existence is the smallest, most insignificant of all. You don’t want to do anything or be around with them but they’re part of your team.
Posts on how to deal with toxic people at work just abounds. You can at least find a dozen ways on how to handle these people. Most of them are all about protecting yourself. They go on about establishing a limit or making yourself less vulnerable. It’s like: Never reach out to toxic people at work, period.
Or is it? Taking it from a team leader or a concerned team member’s perspective, how’d you go about helping a toxic team member to change?
I tried a quick search on how you can help a team member change their toxic behavior. I’ve encountered some self-confessed toxic people and how they eventually changed. According to them, it’s all about self-awareness – recognizing the signs that you’re becoming a toxic person and initiating changes that mostly include therapy and restraint. (Whoa, therapy sounds so serious!) I’d like to think that they are what Randy Pausch would call recovering jerks in his book, “The Last Lecture”.
Workplace Interventions for Toxic People
This info-graphic from GetVOIP might be a good springboard on the interventions that the management can do to change toxic employee’s behavior. It may be applicable for both subordinates and managers:
Interventions for Toxic People Using Emotional Intelligence Approach
If you want a lengthy study on toxic managers, this article by Roy Lubit may be really insightful. The article aims to help senior management identify toxic managers so they can distinguish those who can still be coached and therefore, retain, and those who they need to let go. He argues that to effectively deal with toxic people, you need to understand where they’re coming from. Uncovering their objectives will help you design interventions accordingly. He emphasizes the importance of developing emotional intelligence so it can help you reign in your feelings and behaviors, rather than letting the feelings run away with you.
In his article, there are four types of toxic managers:
Narcissistic
Aggressive
Rigid
Impaired
Each type comes in several varieties. The author put each in a table so personal traits and objectives can easily be identified. He also put in recommendations on how to deal with each type, both for when you’re a subordinate or a superior.
I may not always agree on the recommendations, especially the ones for subordinates. Most of it seemed to lean on downplaying performance or avoiding provocation. But to senior management, it can be a good springboard on how to reach out to once well-performing managers who devolved into being a toxic boss.
If you can share any tips on how to reach out to a colleague or a boss who’s become toxic, put them in the comment below.
The One Minute Manager has arguably oversimplified management principles and focused a bit too much on dealing with subordinates at work. Yet, it’s allegorical style and use of ordinary words rendered it a very easy read. The principles presented are also practical and adaptable.
It rests on the idea that people and results go hand in hand. This means that how you treat your people greatly impacts your bottom line. Therefore, it’s extremely important to deal with them in the proper way. The book highlights the significance of setting goals/expectations and how to give out praises and reprimands.
If you’re in a middle management position, I recommend grabbing a copy of this book. You’ll find that the scenarios presented are relevant and it wouldn’t take too much of your time.
A word of caution though. Never take the title of this book literally.The One Minute Manager is just an expression, an attempt to put away the idea that a management position is one of the most complex and difficult there is. I’d like to think that this book is a sort of initiation, an intro that touches mostly on how to deal with people.
Here are the three most important points in the book that can help you become a One Minute Manager:
The One Minute Goal Setting
First, set expectations clear and straight. Goals need to be brief and mutually agreed upon. It must only have 250 characters or less and can be read in a minute. Identify the behaviors that will lead to the achievement of the goals. Review the goals time and again and check whether the behaviors matches the goals.
Be upfront with your people.
The One Minute Praise
Your people want to know how they’re doing at work so it’s important that you give them immediate feedback. Try to catch them when they’re doing things right. Specify the good behavior and commend them for it. Pause a bit so that the good feeling sinks in. Gestures like shaking hands or touching the shoulders may be good ways of reinforcing your message. But take care that the gesture makes your people comfortable and your touch, sincere.
Catch your people doing things right.
The One Minute Reprimand
Giving out reprimands has two parts. First part includes reprimanding people immediately. Specifically point out the bad behavior and express how you honestly feel about it. Let there be an uncomfortable silence in between so that the situations sinks in.
The second part include reaching out to person and sincerely expressing you’re still on their side. Make them understand that this is about their work performance and not them as a person. Finally, when the reprimand is over, it’s over. Don’t ever bring it up again.
A person’s behavior does not equal his or her worth.
Though it’s hardly a quick-guide to all things management, The One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard Ph.D. and Spencer Johnson M.D. shows you practical steps on how to deal with people better. Parents also have found the principles useful when raising their children.
2016’s coming to an end. Though not without challenges, it must have brought you something that you’re thankful for. You may have gained work, new friendships, a special someone or a family. As you get ready for the coming year, it’s always good to think about the things you may want to do better in 2017.
Here’s my list, albeit not conclusive nor specific. I consider them my guidelines or my notes to self for 2017. I hardly keep in line with my resolutions as most people do. But if I just remember the why’s or it’s value for me, I tend to honor them more.
Sleep better.
And make this a priority. Staying up late and arguing you’ll just catch up on it can cause trouble in the long run. So when it’s time to turn in, do just that. Cultivate a sleeping habit. Dim the light. Play a mellow tune. Surround yourself with fluffy pillows. Sleep with someone, if that makes it any better. Say your prayers. Let the next hours be a pause after all the hours of frenzy movements. Respect this time that you get to do the best form of preparation for another day.
Make sleep a priority.
Eat better.
This goes beyond satisfying your hunger or eating healthy foods. These days when everything seemed to be on fast forward, eating has become a dine and dash activity. How about relishing the food a little more? Eat in a way that enriches you. Dine with a friend. Cook for other people. Try food from other places – it’ll always reveal something about yourself and that town’s culture. Eat slowly when you can. Share when you can. Respect this time that you get to take in physical blessing.
Eat in a way that enriches you.
Work better.
Work all the time that you work. Set time to get ready for the things you’re going to do for the day. Let others know about your priorities so that when they interrupt, they’re certain about the time you can spare for them. You can always reorganize tasks as needed but you’ll only get to do this if you’ve got the preparation right. Also, work smart. What can you delegate? Are there tasks that you can automate? Which tools do you need to make your work smoother and easier? Please understand that work culture varies from company to company, country to country. Usually, you’re only paid for 8 hours. So, unless it’s necessary to go beyond that, don’t render overtime. Remember that you got to have a life after work, too.
Prepare to do your work and stick to your priorities.
Communicate better.
Yes means yes, no means no. It’s not always easy to speak your mind, but still you gotta try. Write it down, gesture if you must, but you gotta make your point across and clearly. Listen, understand, respond. At work, present your ideas as follows: What?- So What? – Now What? So be brief, yet concise. It’s because one, people have short attention span and two, they got their own lives, too.
Think better.
Thoughts become things. It means that whatever you conjure in your mind can happen. So make it a habit to think positive thoughts and see to it that they outnumber negative ones. The ability to anticipate outcomes is good, but if you lean too much on the negative, you may not want to start anything at all. Be cautious of your optimism as well. Try pragmatic, but entertain the bizarre because it’s important that you be creative, too! So read. Ask questions. Pick the brain of experts. You may watch their interviews or pore over their essays. You may find TedTalk awesome, too!
Think about positive things. You need five positive thoughts to counter every negative ones.
Dream better.
I’m talking about conscious dreams, the ones with timelines, those dreams which you strive so hard for. Have you achieved them yet? If yes, good for you. Make them bigger. Or get ready to start on another dream. If you haven’t achieved them yet, try harder. After all, your dreams must be enormous. They must scare you, inspire you and move you. So, don’t settle for anything less. Keep striving. Ask for help. Share it with others. The Universe is always listening and its conspiring to make your dreams come true.
Dare to dream better. Dream big dreams.
Laugh better.
I believe laughter is the sound that your heart makes when it overflows with gladness. It can also be your soul calling out for celebration. Laugh at yourself for it makes you grow. Laugh with others as it develops kinship. Expose yourself more to things that at least bring you smiles. Share these things to others when you can. Allow yourself the opportunity to show others how please you are at the moment.
Make sure to laugh better and often.
There you have it! My list of what I want to do better in 2017. I thought of adding reminders in line with live better or love better. But all these, when observed faithfully may already lead to those. So, if you got any other notes to self that will make you do better in 2017, feel free to share and put them in the comments below.
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