If you’re a fan of self-help books and personal development, you may be familiar with positive affirmation.
Positive affirmation is a statement that confirms something to be true. Repeating a positive word or phrase is a proven psychological self-help process especially for changing, adding or removing specific behaviors and habits¹. Jack Canfield, a success coach, even outlined nine (9) guidelines on how to create effective affirmations on his book, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. Other experts, like motivational author ²Louise Hay, actually has an audio-book that features positive affirmations.
BENEFITS OF POSITIVE AFFIRMATION
Various experts and studies support the effectiveness of adapting this concept in our daily lives. One website ³cites the following benefits of positive affirmation:
Strengthens muscles.
Increase physical and emotional energy levels.
Brings to life a person’s capabilities, strengths, talents and skills.
Penetrates a person’s subconscious, thus affecting one’s actions, behaviors and attitude.
A simple search of this term on the internet would give you hundreds and hundreds of stories of people who show affirmations really work. Of course, take everything with a pinch of salt. Positive affirmation should not be the be-all-and-end-all of your self-improvement journey. This should just form part of your action plan to achieving your goal of personal growth and success.
PERSONAL AFFIRMATIONS
I really believe that words have power on their own. This is why we should be very careful on what we say to ourselves and to others. Words, when said often enough, inspires belief which then may turn into action and reality.
The following are some of my personal affirmations. You may also create affirmations that are specific to your job or relationships. Hope you may find these useful:
You can always find interesting, funny and amazing talks at Ted.com. What follows is a list of my all-time favorites. They span a wide range of disciplines and ideas but you’re sure to benefit from them. If you have time to spare, watch and read on.
The Happy Secret to Better Work
This talk re-frames our perspective on how to achieve happiness. We’re raised to believe that the harder we work, the more successful we get, the happier we become. But Shawn Achor would like to reverse that formula. He says that being happy starts with training the brain to become more positive.
According to his study, “… our brains work in the opposite order. If you can raise somebody’s level of positivity in the present, then their brain experiences what we now call a happiness advantage, which is your brain at positive performs significantly better than at negative, neutral or stressed. Your intelligence rises, your creativity rises, your energy levels rise. In fact, we’ve found that every single business outcome improves. Your brain at positive is 31% more productive than your brain at negative, neutral or stressed. You’re 37% better at sales. Doctors are 19 percent faster, more accurate at coming up with the correct diagnosis when positive instead of negative, neutral or stressed.”
How then can we achieve this happiness advantage? He gives us the following recommendations:
List three new things you’re grateful for 21 days in a row. This way the brain would learn to scan the world not for the negative, but for the positive first.
Journal about your positive experiences so that the brain re-lives the way it feels.
Meditation and exercise.
Random acts of kindness.
Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe
“When we feel safe inside the organization, we will naturally combine our talents and our strengths and work tirelessly to face the dangers outside and seize the opportunities.” – Simon Sinek
To make your people feel safe and taken care of are signs of good leadership. I couldn’t agree more when he said that when leaders decide to put people first, when they show willingness to sacrifice comforts and tangible results so that people remain and feel safe and feel that they belong, remarkable things happen.
He’s cited two companies who’re so good at this principle and they’re thriving businesses right now. Just imagine working for that particular company that’s willing to keep you for a lifetime.
Also he’s given a damn good definition of leadership. Leadership is never about the rank. Like him, I’ve encountered so many people who occupy higher rungs in a company. They’re people of authority for sure, but definitely not leaders. Leadership is a choice – to go first, to make sacrifices so your people may gain and succeed. And what do leaders gain from all this? It’s the absolute willingness of their people to do the same for them.
Your Elusive Creative Genius
From the author of Eat, Pray, Love, this talk tackles the daunting issue that every artist face after creating their best, most acclaimed work by far: Will they ever surpass their most recent achievement?
This thought is certainly scary and puts a lot of pressure on the artist while getting the “next big work” out there.
According to her, life need not to be full of anguish if you never happen to believe that the most extraordinary aspect of your being comes from you. In some ancient cultures, they have the idea of a disembodied creative creature called genius. While in some places, artists can have that single, transcendent moment when they seem to become a vessel so spectators can have a glimpse of God. And so in recognizing this distance between the artist and the work, artists may be able to retain that sanity, that courage to get on with the work and just stubbornly show up until it is done.
Beautiful Minds Are Free From Fear
Sometimes, fear can be so strong and paralyzing. When it hits, Robert Grant gives the following recommendations on how to overcome fear:
Practice gratitude. It’s impossible to be fearful and grateful at the same time.
Intentional Decision. Anything that can happen to you in your life can either the best or the worst thing. You decide which is which. Every day you wake up, you get to decide whether it’s going to be a good day or a bad day. It’s all up to you.
How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over
Whenever you feel stuck or dissatisfied with your life, Mel Robbins says that you gotta force yourself out of the following:
Out of your head. Most especially when you’re just wallowing on your negative thoughts.
Past your feelings. Because you’re never gonna feel like getting what you want when you’re so focused on your emotions.
Out of your comfort zone. Because that’s where everything starts to happen.
And she says it’s very important to act on our impulse. Because if we don’t marry the impulse with a physical action, we’re going to trigger our emergency break and we’ll never get to do what we want to do in the first place.
You may have your own set of Ted Talks favorites. Put them on the comment section or send them my way so I can add them here.
Most of the time, the combination of right words spoken at the right time is all the encouragement that you need. Whether they be from a fictional character or spoken by someone IRL, the impact that these quotes have can never be underestimated. These quotes have the potential to inspire us, to strengthen us and to make us see from a different perspective.
I’m going to try to update this post every week by adding five (5) quotes every time. Please feel free to drop by every Monday to see the recent uploads.
Think about your possibilities. You are a work in progress. Believe in what you can become.
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu
Photo by Marina Vitale
It all starts in believing. You can do anything you set your mind into.
Nurture your mind with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes. – Benjamin Disraeli
Photo by Joshua Earle
The past is over and it has no power over you. What matters now is where you intend to go, who you wanted to be.
The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving. – Oliver Wendell Holmes
Photo by Danka & Peter
Keep things in control.
Either you run the day, or the day runs you. – Jim Rohn
Photo by Dai KE
Become the great person you know you can become.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great makes you feel that you, too, can become great. – Mark Twain
Photo by Andrew Worley
Find the best in everybody. Just keep waiting no matter how long it takes. No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side, just keep waiting, it will come out. – Randy Pausch
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo
So the braver you are, the more life is there for you.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. – Anais Nin
Photo from Unsplash.com
You are here to heal your life.
Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. – Pema Chodron
Photo from Unsplash.com
Do you want it badly enough that you’re ready to do everything just to get pass the brick wall?
The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people. – Randy Pausch
Photo from Canva.com
It your life. You’re in charge. Take the lead.
To achieve major success in life, you must accept 100% responsibility for your life and results. Nothing less will do. – Jack Canfield
Photo from Unsplash.com
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is a short story written by James Thurber. And though the film adaptation has taken liberties with the plot and the details, Walter Mitty’s charm didn’t fade. In fact, the movie has enhanced Walter’s vivid imagination and amplified all the reasons we can all relate to this man.
MEET WALTER MITTY
Walter is given to fantastic daydreaming. And he’s never picky as to where or when he’s going to zone out. He can be at a train station, in a company meeting, in a conversation with the person he fancies or in between the time he contemplates riding a helicopter with a drunk pilot.
He’s been with Life Magazine for 16 years, serving the same department. But it’s now time for the organization to transition to being a full-blown digital publication. He’s got a great working relationship with Sean O’Connell, a world-famous photographer. The two of them have never met in person, though.
Now, Walter has to submit photo 25, the “quintessence” of O’Connell’s work, especially dedicated to Life’s last issue. But number 25 is lost. In his quest to recover this super important photo, Walter is lead to a series of adventure, encounters and discoveries that he never thought he’d ever have.
WHY IT’S WORTHY
The film encourages the audience to dream and pursue those dreams with passion. Whatever handicaps we may have in life, we shouldn’t put off the adventures that our hearts truly desire. We may think that we’re busy with life or fear is so strong but we’re only going to find our release the moment we just up and do it.
Of course, there’d be moments when we’re going to fail. And it will hurt us. But still, we come out as the winner. It’s because we realize that whatever we gained is always better than what we initially strive for.
If you’ve got the time and you want to spend it on something truly worthwhile and beautiful, put this movie on. You’ll never regret a moment of it.
Chef hasgot to be one of the most realistic, ordinary and yet captivating films about a family that I’ve ever seen in a long, long while. It’s not pretending to be deep or profound. It doesn’t have those significantly long silent frames but is consists of authentic life scenarios that makes you realize that you may have come across each type of character in the film. The movie did away with overly dramatic acts, but it made sure that touching scenes will get to you every time, as in every time.
Me saying that it’s about family shouldn’t make you expect something like it’s a Little Miss Sunshine kind of film. It’s focus is Carl Casper – a father to a little boy of 10, a divorcee, a chef at a locally reputable LA restaurant and currently preparing to please a local food blogger in the name of Ramsey Mitchell.
CHEF: WHY IT’S WORTHY
PASSION
It’s about a man wanting to live out his passion. His main goal is to touch people’s lives with the food he makes. But I guess entropy is not unique to the corporate world. It happens whenever somebody hires you and instead of letting you do your own thing, they insist that you keep with what’s working and stop there. No exploration, no risks, no growth. And that’s like a life sentence or slow death sentence for any passionate man. Chef Casper has been in a creative rut in the last 10 years.
FOOD
It’s also about food and how it’s tied with the people and place where it comes from. I guess, eating is one of the most intimate things that you can do publicly and socially. The more people you share it with, the better it tastes. The moment that you take in local food, you also take in a culture. It’s like an initiation to a foreign society or a community. It’s taking in a little of everything else in that place. And aside from gaining nutrition, you gain a new perspective, too.
LIFE, FAMILY
Chef encourages you to inspire others about what moves you and to be open and willing to take in opportunities when they present themselves. It’s also about taking a step back, clearing your head and focusing on what really matters. It’s a film of second chances, reinventing yourself and keeping true to who you really are. Starting over may seem daunting, but it’s the only way to redeem yourself.
And, family is most important, kin or not.
CHEF: POWERHOUSE CAST AND AMAZING SOUND TRACK
Chef has a powerhouse of actors. Before this film, I didn’t know Jon Favreau, but I developed a deep respect for his art. I was pleasantly surprised with the actors in supporting and cameo roles, too. Check the full cast right here.
And to top it off, it has an amazing soundtrack. It features the lively beat of rumba, as well as soul and blues tracks from Marvin Gaye and Gary Clark Jr. The music lends an excellent layer of emotion and color to the film.
I recommend for families to watch it. It doesn’t matter the season. It would be quality time anytime you choose to watch Chef.
One great advantage of living in our time is that you can be whoever you want to be. It’s also one of the greatest ironies, since most decide to be just like everyone else. You can say that your influences, the media, and this converging world confuse you more than they bring clarity to who you should become. It may be really hard to be yourself when your perceptions are constantly being shaped by trends and influenced by what’s popular.
CONFORMING TO SURVIVE
Humans tend to conform. We discovered early on that it can help us survive. It’s like if you stand out so much, you risk exposing yourself to danger, pain or hurt. And so the self, the one that’s truly and uniquely you, may find it very difficult to come out. You fear judgement and rejection. You want safety. You’d want to feel secure. And so you conform. Some people have mastered the art of conforming so well, it’d make you wonder if they ever hate themselves for it. And, would they ever forgive themselves for giving up on the self that they can become?
Again, as in most things in life, it’s a trade-off between security and freedom.
GETTING THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF
But, is it really? Can’t you have the courage to be who you really are?
This talk by Bruce Cairnie, highlights three things that can give you courage to be yourself. He talks about self-worth, self-love and the ability to recognize a need for growth. These beautiful concepts will help you realize how in very simple ways, you can construct or maybe redeem yourself.
Self-worth comes from the fact that you are here. You breathe, you live, you are. You’re worthy, you’re enough.
And if you’ll only acknowledge those facts, then self-love will be easy on you. Self-love is recognizing your strengths, your accomplishments. It’s affirming the things that went well in your life, no matter how big or small they are. But it’s also about recognizing your weaknesses and imperfections, that you deserve the chance to change and grow.
You’re a work in progress. And you develop yourself in your own time, at your own pace, within the confines of an environment of your choice. If you’ve got self-love then you know, you got to give yourself the patience to become who you want to be, to let out that person who you truly wanted to become. To build up that courage to be yourself.
Sometimes, one person is all you need. That one person who believes in you, who trusts you and will be there for you no matter what. This person helps you get across the boundaries of fear, push your limits and dare you to start over.
Just one person who knows you enough, who believes in who you are and have faith in what you can become. Just one person who knows your reasons without even asking, who’s willing to go down swinging for you. Just one person to stand beside you, come hell or high water.
Just one person.
Someone who can hate the things or persons you hate.
Someone who can love the things or persons you love.
Someone who’ll stay up late or come to your door at 2am just because you ask them to.
Someone who’s attempt at clarity is enough amidst the vagueness of everything else.
Someone who’ll never have to find you, because they’ll never let you get lost.
Who’s your person?
You’ll turn to this person when things don’t make sense or when they make so much sense, you needed help bursting your bubble. One who’ll shatter the walls when they get too thick. One who’ll walk through a maze with you just so you can figure it out together.
The love between you and this person is unique. It’s so much like the love you have for yourself. Where “I am You” is not a mere statement, but the truth.
2016’s coming to an end. Though not without challenges, it must have brought you something that you’re thankful for. You may have gained work, new friendships, a special someone or a family. As you get ready for the coming year, it’s always good to think about the things you may want to do better in 2017.
Here’s my list, albeit not conclusive nor specific. I consider them my guidelines or my notes to self for 2017. I hardly keep in line with my resolutions as most people do. But if I just remember the why’s or it’s value for me, I tend to honor them more.
Sleep better.
And make this a priority. Staying up late and arguing you’ll just catch up on it can cause trouble in the long run. So when it’s time to turn in, do just that. Cultivate a sleeping habit. Dim the light. Play a mellow tune. Surround yourself with fluffy pillows. Sleep with someone, if that makes it any better. Say your prayers. Let the next hours be a pause after all the hours of frenzy movements. Respect this time that you get to do the best form of preparation for another day.
Make sleep a priority.
Eat better.
This goes beyond satisfying your hunger or eating healthy foods. These days when everything seemed to be on fast forward, eating has become a dine and dash activity. How about relishing the food a little more? Eat in a way that enriches you. Dine with a friend. Cook for other people. Try food from other places – it’ll always reveal something about yourself and that town’s culture. Eat slowly when you can. Share when you can. Respect this time that you get to take in physical blessing.
Eat in a way that enriches you.
Work better.
Work all the time that you work. Set time to get ready for the things you’re going to do for the day. Let others know about your priorities so that when they interrupt, they’re certain about the time you can spare for them. You can always reorganize tasks as needed but you’ll only get to do this if you’ve got the preparation right. Also, work smart. What can you delegate? Are there tasks that you can automate? Which tools do you need to make your work smoother and easier? Please understand that work culture varies from company to company, country to country. Usually, you’re only paid for 8 hours. So, unless it’s necessary to go beyond that, don’t render overtime. Remember that you got to have a life after work, too.
Prepare to do your work and stick to your priorities.
Communicate better.
Yes means yes, no means no. It’s not always easy to speak your mind, but still you gotta try. Write it down, gesture if you must, but you gotta make your point across and clearly. Listen, understand, respond. At work, present your ideas as follows: What?- So What? – Now What? So be brief, yet concise. It’s because one, people have short attention span and two, they got their own lives, too.
Think better.
Thoughts become things. It means that whatever you conjure in your mind can happen. So make it a habit to think positive thoughts and see to it that they outnumber negative ones. The ability to anticipate outcomes is good, but if you lean too much on the negative, you may not want to start anything at all. Be cautious of your optimism as well. Try pragmatic, but entertain the bizarre because it’s important that you be creative, too! So read. Ask questions. Pick the brain of experts. You may watch their interviews or pore over their essays. You may find TedTalk awesome, too!
Think about positive things. You need five positive thoughts to counter every negative ones.
Dream better.
I’m talking about conscious dreams, the ones with timelines, those dreams which you strive so hard for. Have you achieved them yet? If yes, good for you. Make them bigger. Or get ready to start on another dream. If you haven’t achieved them yet, try harder. After all, your dreams must be enormous. They must scare you, inspire you and move you. So, don’t settle for anything less. Keep striving. Ask for help. Share it with others. The Universe is always listening and its conspiring to make your dreams come true.
Dare to dream better. Dream big dreams.
Laugh better.
I believe laughter is the sound that your heart makes when it overflows with gladness. It can also be your soul calling out for celebration. Laugh at yourself for it makes you grow. Laugh with others as it develops kinship. Expose yourself more to things that at least bring you smiles. Share these things to others when you can. Allow yourself the opportunity to show others how please you are at the moment.
Make sure to laugh better and often.
There you have it! My list of what I want to do better in 2017. I thought of adding reminders in line with live better or love better. But all these, when observed faithfully may already lead to those. So, if you got any other notes to self that will make you do better in 2017, feel free to share and put them in the comments below.
You gotta give it to alcohol. It’s one of world’s most glorious temptations. It levels up everything – joy, excitement, sorrow, pain. Even beer tastes sweet when you’re drinking with the right kind of people. I personally put this on the list of why I believe and worship God! But alcohol almost always comes with the most earnest of its friends – hangover. No matter whether you’re drinking with family, friends or workmates, this miserable friend never fails to make you regret the booze that you had that time. I’d like to think that every bad case of hangover makes it to the list of I-swear-never-to-do-again-but-did!
Indeed, waking up and going to work with the feeling that your head may split open every few steps is just freaking hell! I learned how to do walling along corridors because of hangover; have experienced faux case of bulimia because of hangover; and almost lost faith in myself one time when I woke up asking these remorseful questions, “What am I thinking? Or was I even thinking last night?” Oh the misery!
You may think that feeling miserable is getting quite a good deal out of your drinking bargain, but think again. Hangover may just be a short-term side effect, unlike developing liver disease, but it poses great hazard as well. It may actually cause your death.
Whoah, that almost had you thinking twice about drinking, right? You already miss seeing those golden sparkles inside that beer mug or feeling that warm sensation going down your throat.
So, on this joyous season I’d like to share this info-graphic that discusses the biology of hangovers, its prevention and usual remedies. It’s more like a reminder-to-self kind of thing every time you decide to get drunk. And as always kids, drink moderately!
This info-graphic tells us the causes, prevention and remedies of hangover.
I believe gratitude and happiness are inseparable.
Gratitude is thankfulness, the acknowledgment of the positive things and great opportunities that you have and expect in your life. And happiness, arguably, is that wonderful, warm sensation in your heart that lets you know something you wanted or planned for is finally happening.
And so, if you can acknowledge even the littlest of things that you’re thankful for, you can’t help but be happy.
Sounds simple, right? But most people remain unhappy.
Be thankful for the little things.
Often, you tend to overlook the little things in life that can bring you happiness. These are trivial, sometimes mundane events or things that you don’t even consider. But when you start to be conscious about all the things around you, you may discover a lot of things that you can make you happy, or at the least, smile.
List all the things that you’re thankful for. You might be surprised how your happiness is consists of small, every day things that you usually take for granted.
Think of your favorite weather, the smile you received from a stranger, or that kind guy who offered you a seat on the ride home. These simple, usual events are your simple blessings each day. And if only you acknowledge these as such, then you might just realize that life is easier, more bearable because you get these little miracles every day.
Be thankful for the big things.
Of course, bigger blessings are hard to ignore, especially the ones that you really worked hard for. But still, most people forget to give thanks. They feel entitled. They think that because they worked for it, they only deserve it. It’s all on them.
And maybe this is one reason why most achievers lead an abundant, but unhappy life. They forget about gratitude.
You shouldn’t forget that great things can’t be achieved alone. You may have been the leader or the main man for a really successful project or business venture, but you could have never been at the top without the people who helped you, supported you and prayed for you.
I believe in hard work, in discipline and focus. But I don’t believe that you can get to where you want on your own. There will always be people who you’ll need to ask help from or those who will offer you their help. And for that, you must be thankful.
Acknowledge the hardships for they made you stronger. Recognize your team because they supported and strengthen you. Thank the universe because it conspired to make you successful.
Be grateful for the success of others.
We’re echoes of each other. And the more we support other people to achieve what they want, the more that we make ourselves capable of achieving our own goals and dreams.
Be grateful for the success of others. Photo Credit: tedeytan via photopincc
Instead of being envious or holding grudges or blaming fate, it maybe better to say our thanks that our brothers or sisters finally achieved their dreams. Tell the Universe, or your God or whatever deity you hold the highest respect for, that you’re ready to receive yours.
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