Author: Jel's Journal

Interested with arts, media, marketing and writing.

Cebu City – What the Oldest City in the Philippines Has to Offer

Dubbed as the Queen City of the South, Cebu City is a bustling metropolis filled with riches, both from the past and present. Below are some of the places the oldest city in the Philippines has to offer!

Top Spots in Cebu City

Basilica Minore del Santo Niño 

It’s hailed as the mother and head of all Catholic churches in the Philippines. Devoted Catholics must have put this shrine into their must-go-to list for their pilgrimage. I may not be one of them, but to set foot at a place as historic and important as this is, is definitely one of my dreams come true.

The outer halls were lined with oil paintings. In them are scenes that held historical and religious milestones. There’s a special place where you can line up and see the Philippines’ most beloved Santo Niño sculpture. I don’t know about any other Christian countries of the world, but know that even in a public place as this, the moment a devotee come face to face with the idol, it becomes the most private, the most intimate place of all. It’s the kind of private moment when instead of looking away, you’ll want to look on and share in the devotion. I’m not even a Catholic. But the emotion, the gestures, the faith that’s being made visible at the moment is so hard to ignore.

Cebu Church
Cebu Church

Magellan’s Cross

Outside the Basilica stood the enduring witness of Catholicism in the Philippines, the Magellan’s Cross. The wooden cross is just a replica, with the original one buried within it. How many layers of crosses buried within each other would we see? One thing is for sure, it will stand as long as the city professes the faith in Christ.

You can light colorful candles and help out the local ladies make a living. They said that the wishes you make when you light the candles will come true. It’s faith…it’s all on faith.

Taoist Temple

On the other side of the town though, stands the Philippine Taoist Temple. It’s a place that honors oriental teaching. Originally from China, Taoism is the religion of opposites – yin and yang, dark and light, etc. How apt that it should be here in Cebu City, a land of opposites.

Taoist Temple Walkway
Taoist Temple Walkway

Taoist Temple
Taoist Temple

Dragons on the Roof of Taoist Temple
Dragons on the Roof of Taoist Temple

Tabo-an Market

Haggle for the dried fishes all you want, just be ready with the strong smell coming off of this place. It can really stick to your clothes for the rest of the day. So if you’re touring Cebu, this place should be the last one to go to.

In and Around Cebu City

The Ayala Center here is so nice, especially at night. It’s so much like the ones we have in Manila, but I like the grounds here much better. It’s been 3 years now, so maybe something has changed since then. There’s also this Mexican restaurant, Moon Cafe in the place. The best nacho I had, ever!

We stayed at Diamond Suites and Residences. Perfect place to get to anywhere because it’s in the heart of the metro. Also, it’s convenient to go to these places from here. Nightly rates are reasonable and accommodation is nice and clean. The bed is awesome too!

Then there’s Cafe Namoo, kind of cute, with small compartments and yellow lighting. Perfect for high school and college people. Best thing is it’s practically a freedom board.

Larsian is also an interesting place. It’s a food complex, where fresh seafood and meat vendors line around. Patrons then sit on plastic chairs and eat on long tables at the center. Your food gets to be cooked and served there and then. You won’t need utensils, by the way. Enjoy eating with your hands (with plastic gloves).

Loved ones would always request lechon as pasalubong, but the small longanizas taste wonderful as well.

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The last time I was around the town, we dined in this place called Abaca Boutique Resort and Restaurant. It’s real nice, so serene a place. We toured around and saw that the rooms are spacious; the lounge, relaxing. The food, served nice and delicious. We dropped by this place to dine. I was with corporate people then. But this place is more for couples and families.

Cebu City would always be a memorable place for me. I worked here. I learned so much here. I’ve been to places that I only read about before. And I’ve been with people I never thought I’d come across this lifetime. And I was glad, that even in the seemingly mundane and natural occurrence of it all, somehow, I formed part of this city’s history.

As always, thanks for dropping by!

Sometimes, One Person is All You Need

Sometimes, one person is all you need. That one person who believes in you, who trusts you and will be there for you no matter what.  This person helps you get across the boundaries of fear, push your limits and dare you to start over.

Just one person who knows you enough, who believes in who you are and have faith in what you can become. Just one person who knows your reasons without even asking, who’s willing to go down swinging for you. Just one person to stand beside you, come hell or high water.

Just one person.

Someone who can hate the things or persons you hate.

Someone who can love the things or persons you love.

Someone who’ll stay up late or come to your door at 2am just because you ask them to.

Someone who’s attempt at clarity is enough amidst the vagueness of everything else.

Someone who’ll never have to find you, because they’ll never let you get lost.

Your Person
Who’s your person?

You’ll turn to this person when things don’t make sense or when they make so much sense, you needed help bursting your bubble. One who’ll shatter the walls when they get too thick. One who’ll walk through a maze with you just so you can figure it out together.

The love between you and this person is unique. It’s so much like the love you have for yourself. Where “I am You” is not a mere statement, but the truth.

Just this person and you.

Your Person.

How Successful People Win Against the Hardest Things in Life

Challenges are the ultimate test of character. Winning over them is like winning at life. While some struggle, others seem to have them figured out. Here are four of the many challenges in life and the steps that successful people take to win over them:

Change

Change is something that you just have to accept. It’s especially overwhelming when you’re not the one who initiated it. But successful people seem to breeze through changes. They’re the ones who can look back and say that change had been for the better, for the most part. This attitude or perspective makes them more receptive to change. It makes them actually excited about it.

Reflect on the following questions. These will help you break down your thoughts and let you come up with specific action plan to embrace change:

  1. What’s changing in my life that I’m currently resisting?
  2. Why am I resisting that change?
  3. What am I afraid of with respect to change?
  4. What am I afraid might happen to me?
  5. What’s the payoff for my keeping things the way they are?
  6. What’s the cost I’m paying for keeping the things the way they are?
  7. What benefits might there be in this change?
  8. What would I have to do to cooperate with this change?
  9. What’s the next step I could take to cooperate with this change?
  10. When will I take it?

Risks

To the uninformed, risk accompanies danger and loss. But to those who know how to play the game, risk results to gains. The higher the risk, the higher the return.

Take RisksThe thing is you need to be critical on the kind of risk to take. Learn to take calculated risks.  These risks are taken after careful consideration of the advantages and disadvantages. Information, therefore, is essential. Of course, nobody has all the answers. So, this also requires a leap of faith.

Know that not every risk is worth it so be very clear on why you’re taking it. Evaluate your current situation – who you are, what you have, what’s out there, who can help you. Be brutally honest on your willingness to pay the price and for how long you can hold out. Be prepared to make adjustments. Play to win.

Denial

Often, denial results from fear. You’re scared to face the truth. You refuse to accept that you made the wrong choice, or your partner’s cheating on you or one person is capable of doing such a thing. Successful people work to find out the causes of these situations, instead of coming up with excuses on why they happen. You got to be good at recognizing bad situations and then decide to take action. Often, our conscience or gut-feel gives us a hint that something’s wrong. It may be good to see if this feeling has basis.

Your answer to these questions may help you get out of denial:

  1. What’s not working?
  2. What caused this situation? Or how did I/we get into this situation?
  3. What do I/we need to solve or get out of this situation?
  4. What actions do I/we need to take for the situation to work the way it’s supposed to?

Hate and Forgiveness

To let go of hate and resentment is never easy. These negative feelings take so much of your energy. But forgiveness takes even more than that.

You need to have the strength to be the bigger person. Make love the deeper, stronger feeling every time. Try to stand in the shoes of those who hurt you and walk around in them so you understand where they’re coming from. Because to forgive is to give up the negative feeling for yourself – never for whoever or whatever that’s hurt you.

The following steps are all integral to forgiving:

  1. Acknowledge your anger and resentment.
  2. Acknowledge the hurt and pain it created.
  3. Recognize the fears and self-doubts that it created.
  4. Own any part you may have played in letting it occur or letting it continue.
  5. Acknowledge what you were wanting that you didn’t get, and then put yourself in the other person’s shoes and attempt to understand where he or she was coming from at that time, and what needs the person was trying to meet – however inelegantly – by his or her behavior.
  6. Let go and forgive the person.

I used Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles as reference for this post. The book aims to help you achieve your goal in whatever aspect of your life. It features real-life situations and inspiring stories to demonstrate each principle. They’re very easy to relate to and understand. For more success tips, do check it out on National Bookstore,  Amazon or ebay.

How about you, what challenges are you facing right now and how do you go around them?

As always, thanks for dropping by!

Interventions for Toxic People at Work – Yes Boss, This is About You, Too

Toxic people are the unnecessary crazies at work. Spending even a minute with them zap your energy. Hearing them talk rile up feelings that are mostly negative. For them, everything is big deal. There’s not an office hour when you can skip their drama. In extreme cases when they tend to be hurtful, they make you feel like your existence is the smallest, most insignificant of all. You don’t want to do anything or be around with them but they’re part of your team.

Posts on how to deal with toxic people at work just abounds. You can at least find a dozen ways on how to handle these people. Most of them are all about protecting yourself. They go on about establishing a limit or making yourself less vulnerable. It’s like: Never reach out to toxic people at work, period.

Quote on Toxic People
Or is it? Taking it from a team leader or a concerned team member’s perspective, how’d you go about helping a toxic team member to change?

I tried a quick search on how you can help a team member change their toxic behavior. I’ve encountered some self-confessed toxic people and how they eventually changed. According to them, it’s all about self-awareness – recognizing the signs that you’re becoming a toxic person and initiating changes that mostly include therapy and restraint. (Whoa, therapy sounds so serious!) I’d like to think that they are what Randy Pausch would call recovering jerks in his book, “The Last Lecture”.

Workplace Interventions for Toxic People

This info-graphic from GetVOIP might be a good springboard on the interventions that the management can do to change toxic employee’s behavior. It may be applicable for both subordinates and managers:

5 Types of Toxic Employees and How to Deal with Them [Infographic]

Interventions for Toxic People Using Emotional Intelligence Approach

If you want a lengthy study on toxic managers, this article by Roy Lubit may be really insightful. The article aims to help senior management identify toxic managers so they can distinguish those who can still be coached and therefore, retain, and those who they need to let go. He argues that to effectively deal with toxic people, you need to understand where they’re coming from. Uncovering their objectives will help you design interventions accordingly. He emphasizes the importance of developing emotional intelligence so it can help you reign in your feelings and behaviors, rather than letting the feelings run away with you.

In his article, there are four types of toxic managers:

  • Narcissistic
  • Aggressive
  • Rigid
  • Impaired

Each type comes in several varieties. The author put each in a table so personal traits and objectives can easily be identified. He also put in recommendations on how to deal with each type, both for when you’re a subordinate or a superior.

I may not always agree on the recommendations, especially the ones for subordinates. Most of it seemed to lean on downplaying performance or avoiding provocation. But to senior management, it can be a good springboard on how to reach out to once well-performing managers who devolved into being a toxic boss.

If you can share any tips on how to reach out to a colleague or a boss who’s become toxic, put them in the comment below.

As always, thanks for dropping by!

ONE MINUTE MANAGER SPEAKS ON HOW TO TREAT PEOPLE BETTER

The One Minute Manager has arguably oversimplified management principles and focused a bit too much on dealing with subordinates at work. Yet, it’s allegorical style and use of ordinary words rendered it a very easy read. The principles presented are also practical and adaptable.

It rests on the idea that people and results go hand in hand. This means that how you treat your people greatly impacts your bottom line. Therefore, it’s extremely important to deal with them in the proper way. The book highlights the significance of setting goals/expectations and how to give out praises and reprimands.

If you’re in a middle management position, I recommend grabbing a copy of this book. You’ll find that the scenarios presented are relevant and it wouldn’t take too much of your time.

A word of caution though. Never take the title of this book literally. The One Minute Manager  is just an expression, an attempt to put away the idea that a management position is one of the most complex and difficult there is. I’d like to think that this book is a sort of initiation, an intro that touches mostly on how to deal with people.

Here are the three most important points in the book that can help you become a One Minute Manager:

The One Minute Goal Setting

First, set expectations clear and straight. Goals need to be brief and mutually agreed upon. It must only have 250 characters or less and can be read in a minute. Identify the behaviors that will lead to the achievement of the goals. Review the goals time and again and check whether the behaviors matches the goals.

Set Clear Expectations
Be upfront with your people.

The One Minute Praise

Your people want to know how they’re doing at work so it’s important that you give them immediate feedback. Try to catch them when they’re doing things right. Specify the good behavior and commend them for it. Pause a bit so that the good feeling sinks in. Gestures like shaking hands or touching the shoulders may be good ways of reinforcing your message. But take care that the gesture makes your people comfortable and your touch, sincere. 

How to Properly Train People
Catch your people doing things right.

The One Minute Reprimand

Giving out reprimands has two parts. First part includes reprimanding people immediately. Specifically point out the bad behavior and express how you honestly feel about it. Let there be an uncomfortable silence in between so that the situations sinks in.

The second part include reaching out to person and sincerely expressing you’re still on their side. Make them understand that this is about their work performance and not them as a person. Finally, when the reprimand is over, it’s over. Don’t ever bring it up again.

Behavior does not equal worth.
A person’s behavior does not equal his or her worth.

Though it’s hardly a quick-guide to all things management, The One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard Ph.D. and Spencer Johnson M.D. shows you practical steps on how to deal with people better. Parents also have found the principles useful when raising their children.

Check the book on Amazon and Goodreads.

As always, thanks for dropping by!

NOTES TO SELF ON HOW TO DO BETTER IN 2017

2016’s coming to an end. Though not without challenges, it must have brought you something that you’re thankful for. You may have gained work, new friendships, a special someone or a family. As you get ready for the coming year, it’s always good to think about the things you may want to do better in 2017.

Here’s my list, albeit not conclusive nor specific. I consider them my guidelines or my notes to self for 2017. I hardly keep in line with my resolutions as most people do. But if I just remember the why’s or it’s value for me, I tend to honor them more.

Sleep better.

And make this a priority. Staying up late and arguing you’ll just catch up on it can cause trouble in the long run. So when it’s time to turn in, do just that. Cultivate a sleeping habit. Dim the light. Play a mellow tune. Surround yourself with fluffy pillows. Sleep with someone, if that makes it any better. Say your prayers. Let the next hours be a pause after all the hours of frenzy movements. Respect this time that you get to do the best form of preparation for another day.

Sleep better.
Make sleep a priority.

Eat better.

This goes beyond satisfying your hunger or eating healthy foods. These days when everything seemed to be on fast forward, eating has become a dine and dash activity. How about relishing the food a little more? Eat in a way that enriches you. Dine with a friend. Cook for other people. Try food from other places – it’ll always reveal something about yourself and that town’s culture. Eat slowly when you can. Share when you can. Respect this time that you get to take in physical blessing.

Eat Better
Eat in a way that enriches you.

Work better.

Work all the time that you work. Set time to get ready for the things you’re going to do for the day. Let others know about your priorities so that when they interrupt, they’re certain about  the time you can spare for them. You can always reorganize tasks as needed but you’ll only get to do this if you’ve got the preparation right. Also, work smart. What can you delegate? Are there tasks that you can automate? Which tools do you need to make your work smoother and easier? Please understand that work culture varies from company to company, country to country. Usually, you’re only paid for 8 hours. So, unless it’s necessary to go beyond that, don’t render overtime. Remember that you got to have a life after work, too.

Work all the time you work.
Prepare to do your work and stick to your priorities.

Communicate better.

Yes means yes, no means no. It’s not always easy to speak your mind, but still you gotta try. Write it down, gesture if you must, but you gotta make your point across and clearly. Listen, understand, respond. At work, present your ideas as follows: What?- So What? – Now What? So be brief, yet concise. It’s because one, people have short attention span and two, they got their own lives, too.

Think better.

Thoughts become things. It means that whatever you conjure in your mind can happen. So make it a habit to think positive thoughts and see to it that they outnumber negative ones. The ability to anticipate outcomes is good, but if you lean too much on the negative, you may not want to start anything at all. Be cautious of your optimism as well. Try pragmatic, but entertain the bizarre because it’s important that you be creative, too! So read. Ask questions. Pick the brain of experts. You may watch their interviews or pore over their essays. You may find TedTalk awesome, too!

Think positive.
Think about positive things. You need five positive thoughts to counter every negative ones.

Dream better.

I’m talking about conscious dreams, the ones with timelines, those dreams which you strive so hard for. Have you achieved them yet? If yes, good for you. Make them bigger. Or get ready to start on another dream. If you haven’t achieved them yet, try harder. After all, your dreams must be enormous. They must scare you, inspire you and move you. So, don’t settle for anything less. Keep striving. Ask for help. Share it with others. The Universe is always listening and its conspiring to make your dreams come true.

Dream Better
Dare to dream better. Dream big dreams.

Laugh better.

I believe laughter is the sound that your heart makes when it overflows with gladness. It can also be your soul calling out for celebration. Laugh at yourself for it makes you grow. Laugh with others as it develops kinship. Expose yourself more to things that at least bring you smiles. Share these things to others when you can. Allow yourself the opportunity to show others how please you are at the moment.

Laughter at Mind Catalog
Make sure to laugh better and often.

There you have it! My list of what I want to do better in 2017. I thought of adding reminders in line with live better or love better. But all these, when observed faithfully may already lead to those. So, if you got any other notes to self that will make you do better in 2017, feel free to share and put them in the comments below.

Again, thanks for dropping by!

Why You’ll Fail to Have the One Great Love of Your Life

You tell yourself time and again that the next one would be the right one. That this time, you know better. This time, for sure, will be your great love forever. But two next ones have passed and you’re still left bruised and broken. “The bastards”, you think. Then you start asking yourself, “Is it me? What’s wrong with me?”

You’ll brush that thought off. You tell yourself to look forward, always onward. There lies the future after all. The one future you’re going to cherish with the greatest love of your life. And this thought gives you hope, the strength to take on another chance.

After a while, the night goes longer, the darkness starts creeping into your heart. Will this one stay or is this one the same as all the others? You start praying… please let this person be the one. Let this one stay. Let this person love me forever.

Still you doubt, because so much like that future you look forward to, you know nothing’s for certain.

And that’s why you’ll fail to have that one great love of your life.

You fear all the ways that you can fuck this up.

Great Love
Why You’ll Fail to have the Great Love of Your Life

You may start to love the person less. It must be all about you now. Bruised and broken remember? Time to protect yourself and hide away. It wouldn’t make any difference if this person leave or stay.

You may love the person more. You’ll give it all you got. What of bruised and broken heart? You’d like it to be unconditional, all-consuming. For if this person ever leaves, you’ll be nothing but a shell of who you used to be. And that’s not living at all.

Or you may finally pool that little courage you have and decide to be smart about it. Start learning about yourself – your mistakes, your triumphs. The people you’ve had before – what are they like, what did they give you, what did they do to you? Perhaps you can teach your heart. No matter how stubborn it gets, you still own it and whatever you own, you can influence. Start healing on your own. Leave the notion that someone’s going to save you. That person’s not coming, baby. You only have you. So, take care of yourself. Make it so that you feel you’re whole again, confident again, strong again. Just about ready to replace doubt with trust.

And if you should fail, know that the Universe has a humor, too. And yes, it may be playing a cruel joke on you.

On the Glory of Alcohol and Epic Hangover

You gotta give it to alcohol. It’s one of world’s most glorious temptations. It levels up everything – joy, excitement, sorrow, pain. Even beer tastes sweet when you’re drinking with the right kind of people. I personally put this on the list of why I believe and worship God! But alcohol almost always comes with the most earnest of its friends – hangover. No matter whether you’re drinking with family, friends or workmates, this miserable friend never fails to make you regret the booze that you had that time. I’d like to think that every bad case of hangover makes it to the list of I-swear-never-to-do-again-but-did!

Indeed, waking up and going to work with the feeling that your head may split open every few steps is just freaking hell! I learned how to do walling along corridors because of hangover;  have experienced faux case of bulimia because of hangover; and almost lost faith in myself one time when I woke up asking these remorseful questions, “What am I thinking? Or was I even thinking last night?” Oh the misery!

You may think that feeling miserable is getting quite a good deal out of your drinking bargain, but think again. Hangover may just be a short-term side effect, unlike developing liver disease, but it poses great hazard as well. It may actually cause your death.

Whoah, that almost had you thinking twice about drinking, right? You already miss seeing those golden sparkles inside that beer mug or feeling that warm sensation going down your throat.

So, on this joyous season I’d like to share this info-graphic that discusses the biology of hangovers, its prevention and usual remedies. It’s more like a reminder-to-self kind of thing every time you decide to get drunk. And as always kids, drink moderately!

ABOUT ALCOHOL AND ITS FRIEND, HANGOVER

This info-graphic tells us the causes, prevention and remedies of hangover.

Akira Kurosawa’s Advice on Writing

Akira Kurosawa has been hailed as one of the greatest filmmakers of the 20th Century. Three of his most notable works include Rashomon (1950), Ikuru (1952) and Ran (1985). His career has spanned several decades of tremendous highs and lows. The highs include winning best foreign film in an international festival while the lowest point may be the time when he attempted to commit suicide.

His career and experiences had become an inspiration to young directors. Most of them came to him for advice. In this interview, Kurosawa gives us a piece of his mind, one that heavily leans on writing:

To sum up, there are three important things that Kurosawa urges young aspirants to do:

First, learn to write screenplays. As he said, it costs a lot to create a movie, but with writing you only need a pen and a paper. It’s through a script that beginners learn the structure of the film and what cinema is. 

Second, be patient. Write one word at a time.  Make it so that it becomes a habit. Do not stop halfway or whenever you feel it gets tough. Hang in there until you reach the end, or you come to a sort of an end. Do not quit.

Writing as Mountain Climbing
Akira Kurosawa thinks that writing is quite the same as mountain climbing.

Lastly, keep reading. While it’s all right to be well-versed with what’s contemporary, a knowledge of the classics can be of great help. Read something, read a lot, read about your land, your culture and that of others. All the little knowledge that you gain will eventually add up. As he said, you can only write about the things that are inside you – whether that’s from something you’ve heard, read or experienced. You can only ever write about the things that you know.

Read then create.
Akira Kurosawa believes that beginners must have a rich reserve within themselves.